Saturday, July 18, 2009

Possibilities

This week I saw a glimpse of my future. I saw what my life would be like if I chose the path I´ve dreamt about for so long. Living in another country, working in a non-profit helping people, having good friends to enjoy the weekends with, and my own house to come home to.

I met a guy from Spain who is in his late 20´s and has been working at the larger Alalay for 4 years. He loves his job and he does a fantastic job taking care of the children and making their home a fun and safe place to live. I spent time with him this weekend meeting his friends and going out dancing. He lives a great life. It is the exact kind of life I´ve always wanted for myself.

But for some reason I´m having a hard time imagining myself doing it anymore. I keep seeing all the things I would be missing out on. Family, weddings, babies, deaths, seeing my future nieces and nephews learn to crawl and walk. I want to be able to spoil babies.

I think I´m a little travel exhausted. I feel like I´ve been running from one place to another for the last nine years of my life. Having my fill of as many countries and cities as I can. In the last year I´ve been to three different countries, four if you include the United States. I want to settle down and enjoy an entire uninterrupted year in one place.

I don´t know anymore if what I´ve always wanted is still what I want.

4 comments:

  1. i didn't know you liked dancing.

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  2. Kari, I've always liked that you've never been afraid to do what makes you happy. From a western perspective, you're probably the most irrational person I've ever met. In the end, I think you're going to do what makes you the happiest, but know that no matter what you do, I'll always be here at the end of the day ready to go get Storheimz and say, "Kari, I think that's the 'leaftst' of our problems" with you.

    Life is a road and I wanna keep going,
    Love is a river I wanna keep flowing,
    Life is a road, now and forever,
    Wonderful journey

    I love you Kari!

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  3. I am not sure what to say Eric. You are lovely.

    And by the way when I get back I still want to pick out our new song.

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  4. Kari-oso,
    Many of us have lived vicariously through you over the past couple years just wishing we had the moxy to do what you're doing.

    I'm with Eric - do what makes you happy - whatever that looks like. Life is too short not to.

    And you know I'll always be nearby, afterall rumor has it you're picking out my nursing home.

    Love you!
    Mom

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