This week I saw a glimpse of my future. I saw what my life would be like if I chose the path I´ve dreamt about for so long. Living in another country, working in a non-profit helping people, having good friends to enjoy the weekends with, and my own house to come home to.
I met a guy from Spain who is in his late 20´s and has been working at the larger Alalay for 4 years. He loves his job and he does a fantastic job taking care of the children and making their home a fun and safe place to live. I spent time with him this weekend meeting his friends and going out dancing. He lives a great life. It is the exact kind of life I´ve always wanted for myself.
But for some reason I´m having a hard time imagining myself doing it anymore. I keep seeing all the things I would be missing out on. Family, weddings, babies, deaths, seeing my future nieces and nephews learn to crawl and walk. I want to be able to spoil babies.
I think I´m a little travel exhausted. I feel like I´ve been running from one place to another for the last nine years of my life. Having my fill of as many countries and cities as I can. In the last year I´ve been to three different countries, four if you include the United States. I want to settle down and enjoy an entire uninterrupted year in one place.
I don´t know anymore if what I´ve always wanted is still what I want.